I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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