What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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