The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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