Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize