Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
