i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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