I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
