What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
