i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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