I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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