Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
