I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize