can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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