I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
