Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You did what with his pubic hair?
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