college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
