Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
