So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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