Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
