I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize