Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
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I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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