you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
