Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
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Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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