too bad you live with your parents still
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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