dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
