if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!