I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.