You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
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Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
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I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?