all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
