just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
