If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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