remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
