yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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