I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize