I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
