I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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