I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize