It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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