She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
