Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
