she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
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we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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