Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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