is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
