That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize