I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
