Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
