i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
