I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize