I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
