well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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