Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
