Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
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literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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