I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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