It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
