I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
