I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize