my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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